My Teen Is Away at Weight Loss Camp: Where Do I Fit In?
Each year, thousands of parents send their children to weight loss camp. At camp, parents take heart knowing their child will shed excess pounds in a safe, highly supervised environment, which will improve her health, boost her self-esteem, and empower her to make lasting lifestyle changes.
Although parents realize that the best way to discard old habits and adopt a healthier lifestyle is to be immersed in a more health-conscious environment away from home, letting go is never easy. Most families struggle, at least at first, with homesickness, separation anxiety, and understanding where they fit in to their child's weight loss program. Should parents be actively involved in the experience? How many updates and progress reports should they expect? How do they best support their loved one during this process? Do they have to change their own eating patterns and fitness levels?
The therapists and staff at Wellspring camps and academies, the nation's most renowned weight loss camps and boarding schools for children and adolescents, answer these questions and more every day.
Parental Support Is Crucial
Family involvement is widely considered one of the factors that distinguishes top-notch weight loss programs from old-style "fat camps" or boot camps. At Wellspring, parents receive volumes of information about their child's program, in addition to Web updates, letters, visits, family workshops, and weekly phone calls from therapists. But it's up to the families to decide how involved they want to be.
"As varied as our student body is, their parents are just as diverse," says Aki Morita, Ph.D., a behavioral coach at Wellspring Academy in California. "Some parents are open to learning about the Wellspring lifestyle and anxious to support their child when he returns home. Others are hoping camp or boarding school will solve the weight problem in a few shorts weeks or months, without making changes at home."
When families are firmly set in their unhealthy patterns, Wellspring therapists help teens recognize that they can still succeed at their own weight loss program. "Once the kids understand their own family dynamics and can separate themselves," says behavioral coach Bob Rice, M.A., "they realize 'I am my own self and I alone am responsible for my actions.' Sometimes being away at camp gives children the perspective and confidence to transform their lives, even if their families aren't on board."
Morita adds, "With today's busy schedules and long work hours, it can be a struggle getting parents fully committed to their child's program. But once they realize their child is well cared for at Wellspring and that we are truly invested in their family's success, together we become a powerful team."
Separation Anxiety
Every family goes through a series of psychological stages when a child goes away to camp or boarding school, according to Morita. "First comes the homesickness, which is usually followed quickly by the honeymoon stage when everyone is both excited and nervous," she says. "Within the first few weeks, the reality sets in that the program isn't going to be easy. This leads to temporary acceptance, where the students realize they will see results if they follow the plan, so they commit to making the necessary changes."
As their weight fluctuates based on stress and motivation levels, explains Morita, some students get discouraged and want to quit. "At various points during the program," she says, "students may bounce back and forth between joy and frustration. Family members see their loved one go through these stages, and often are drawn in to the process themselves."
Homesickness is a normal part of any camp or boarding school experience. "For both children and their parents, homesickness is the hardest part," says Mike Bishop, Executive Director of Wellspring Academy of the Carolinas. "But separation can be healthy, particularly for adolescents with a growing need for independence. It is vitally important for the child to be able to detach from his parents enough to get motivated to do his own work and form his own healthy habits, independent of the family's lifestyle."
The good news is homesickness can be treated with fun, healthy distractions, and is usually short-lived. "Because separation can be anxiety-provoking," Bishop continues, "we make sure each child receives plenty of support from a close network of friends, staff members, and families. Upon arrival, students are immediately paired with a behavioral coach they can confide in, and quickly get involved in group activities and team-building exercises. After a couple weeks, most students would rather stay here with their new friends than go home."
The Transition Home
The transition home is a critical time for every teen. Students leave behind their structured weight loss community and move back into the environment that promoted unhealthy habits and behaviors in the first place. To ease the transition, Wellspring's behavioral coaches spend a great deal of time learning about the children and their families and preparing the entire family for the child's return home.
"Part of our job is to work closely with parents to change family patterns, such as activity levels and the types of foods in the house," Rice states. "When the kids receive self-monitoring journals and pedometers, we offer parents the same tools so that they can understand their child's experience and begin to adopt the same health-conscious behaviors at home. Even though the child is the one attending camp, the whole family has the tools and support to get in shape."
At Wellspring, students learn the fundamentals of good health in nutrition classes, and learn to prepare nutritious yet tasty meals in culinary classes. With an arsenal of health-promoting recipes and well-rounded, low-fat meal plans at hand, students can take the lead on healthy cooking at home. Followed up with personal trainers who teach students fun activities and exercises they can do anywhere, students are well-equipped to replicate their weight loss program at home.
Wellspring students also have the advantage of slowly testing their new skills at home while maintaining their support system at school. Through off-campus challenges that occur every two to three months, students can spend a few days at home or visiting with their family near school to see what challenges they may face when they return to a familiar environment. Students who visit home often take the opportunity to develop a routine that will be waiting for them when they return - they sign up for a gym membership or sports team, find a quality grocery store, or explore new places to walk.
"If a child goes 'off program' and overeats during her off-campus visit, she can still come back to school, sit down with her behavioral coach, and figure out how to take her progress to a new level," says Rachel Thomas, M.A., a behavioral coach at Wellspring Academy in California. "Together, we identify what went wrong, what the triggers were, and how to do better next time."
Continuing Support
One major benefit of programs like Wellspring is that the family support doesn't end on the last day of camp or school. Students can log in to a website that offers many of the same features as their program, including a self-monitoring journal and access to behavioral coaches and peer support.
Wellspring therapists also recommend that teens get involved in Taking Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) or a local chapter of Weight Watchers to continue weekly weigh-ins and connect with others who are facing the same weight loss challenges. The behavioral coaches also coordinate therapeutic services in each student's local area, and discuss the Wellspring program with the home therapist so that everyone involved is enthusiastic about the child's continuing weight loss success.
So, when asked, "Where do I fit in?" Thomas answers, "Parents' first job is to support their child through the slow and difficult process of behavioral change. Ideally, parents will also take that next step and welcome a new diet and exercise regimen into the household. At the end of the day, parents don't really have to worry about where they fit in - as long as they're open, we will show them what to do."
